Return of The Fuckwads!

I'm back! I was thinking long and hard about doing this again. But after last night...I feel that I should.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the Return of the Fuckwad Awards!

And I have yet another deserving "winner".

My latest Fuckwad Award goes to...

Elton John!

OK. So I honestly love him and his music. BUT...

What happened last night was absolutely unforgivable.

As I had feared, "Billy Elliot" took home every Tony.

Which unfortunately means that my man, Constantine and Rock of Ages got absolutely HOSED!

So based on that reason alone, and because I'm quite defensive and still P.O.ed about him being screwed on AI...

Elton John, and "Billy Elliot"...take your Fuckwads, take your Tonys, take a couple of middle fingers, and take a boot to the head, as well...and HIT THE ROAD!!!

Hasta la pasta!

Denise

First Fuckwad of 06!

It is time to present another Fuckwad Award! It's the first one of 2006!

I could present this to anybody really. But not many people have pissed me off lately.

So, I'm gonna give this "honor" to the first person who came to my mind.

Your first Fuckwad Award winner in 2006 is...

The Boogeyman!

Why the Boogeyman? I only need one reason.

He's THAT. DAMN. DISGUSTING!

Just forget the four things fill in the blank has that you don't. I can think of one thing that the whole damn world has that you don't.

THEY DON'T EAT WORMS!!

Take your Fuckwad Award, please don't fill it with worms on the way out, and HIT THE ROAD!

Your Latest Fuckwad Award Recipient!

Ladies and Gentleman, it gives me great pride to present to you, your latest Fuckwad Award recipient.

A man who needs no introduction, but he's getting one anyway.

Your new "Voice of Raw"...

The one, the only...

Jonathan Coachman!

Why Coach? Why the fuck not? He gets this award just because he's the Coach! *BOO*

Instead of listing 4 things someone has that you don't, I'm just gonna list four 4 things that you desperately need!

1. Charisma
2. A book on how to NOT state the obvious
3. A good edu-ma-cation in rasslin'
4. Your lips surgically removed from Eric Pissoff's ass!

So Coach "is gay" (One of my favorite chants), PLEASE take your Fuckwad Award and HIT. THE. ROAD.

The Family That Stays Together...

Gets Fuckwads together!

That's right. After what I call the "Worst. Raw Moment. Ever.", your next Fuckwad Award winners are...

Vince, Stephanie and Linda (YES, LINDA) McMahon!

I'm just wondering...why the hell fire JR?! Sure, he's Steve Austin's best friend, but he's done a lot in this business, demmit! So Austin stunned all 3 of you, (And Shane, but he wasn't part of the bullshit from last night, so he's exempt from this Fuckwad "honor"), and this is how you handle it? *BOO* And LINDA? WHY, LINDA, WHY? Come next week, you'd better have a damn good explanation, young lady!

I'm so pissed off at this, I ain't even in the mood to list four things that *fill in the blank* has that you don't. I'm just gonna leave it at...

Take your Fuckwad Awards and HIT THE ROAD!

Why haven't there been any Fuckwad Awards yet?

Good question.

The reason is that there hasn't been anyone truly "worthy" of this dubious honor. Actually, there have been several people worthy, but it's just a very tough decision.

You know what? Let's give one away right now.

The first recipient of Denise's Fuckwad Award is none other than...

Palmer Canon!

This is for making Eddie Guerrero the #1 contender, calling him a family man. Uh-huh. This is a guy who wanted his son back after he gave him up 8 years ago and would do anything to get him. *BOO*

Clay Aiken has 4 things that you don't:
1. He actually looks good in glasses.
2. He actually does things for other people, not just for "the network".
3. He wears the spiky hair look well.
4. Clay actually likes blondes, so I think he and Stacy Keibler would make a good match.

So, Mr. Network Executive, here's something you can do for the fans for a change. Take your Fuckwad Award and HIT THE ROAD! *Preferably to another network*

Peace out!

Welcome to the brand spanking new Fuckwad Awards!

It all started back in 1999 when a woman named Cenny started a funny column for an Undertaker site called "Cenny's Fuckwad of the Week Awards". The awards lasted for about 2-3 years, then they stopped.

Fast forward to 2005.

My name is Denise and I am honored to continue this tradition of giving out awards to those who truly deserve them. I will spotlight some stars in WWE of course, but I will also honor those in the real world who have made the ill fated mistake of crossing my path, screwing me over, or just plain pissing me off.

So keep watching this blog to see who the "lucky" person is to be the first recipient of this honor.

Peace out!